Trade apartments with me!
That's an order... not a proposition.
THE Great Location
This apartment is right in the heart of Hollywood. Literally located on Hollywood Blvd. there are bars, restaurants, coffee shops, hip hop clubs, grocery stores, theaters, vintage shopping all within a block or two. That's not even counting all of the food trucks around every corner, every night and the relentless existence of humanity just outside the front door.
THE LIVING ROOM
Spacious living room with exposed brick, signed by folks who have paid me a visit and other fun quirky decorations.
This living room is equipped with a mounted 65 inch LED television and sound bar, acoustic guitar, box drum, bar table, mood lighting, along with an Apple Home Pod so you can speak to Siri!
Can you ask her if she's mad at me?
It's humble but functional! As far as major appliances, enjoy a stainless steel stove, dishwasher, and a spacious refrigerator.
You also have access to a microwave, air fryer, toaster, multiple panini presses (I know...), blender, with laundry downstairs in the apartment building.
Honey Roasted Cereal Not Included.
I love coffee so I have all sorts of coffee implements.
This is where you sleep. You'll slip off to dreamland every night on my TempurPedic memory foam mattress with a smorgasbord of pillows.
Also, don't mind my mannequin Silvio DiProsciutto, he's completely harmless, he just likes to make conversation at night in demonic voices. You'll get used to it.
Silvio stands guard over my little reading nook.
You also get this incredible fun room of awesomeness!
It's got a conference table, a drafting table, a desk (I'll move my computer), a frame for you to draw with chalk, and all sorts of art supplies that you can't touch.
Also if you're doing any sort of human trafficking, you can use the air mattress conveniently located in the mirrored closet so you can see your shame as you reach for it.
THE VO STUDIO
Do you need to record a high-quality dying will?
Have I got the setup for you. A two-channel audio recorder so you can plug in the electric acoustic Martin guitar in the living room and sing your bequeathals in the key of G.
Can you imagine if I listed all of the features of my bathroom. That would be absurd. You know what happens in here.